I just had to defend wide/flat burgers against tall/thick burgers for 30 mins. I'm finding that this is an argument I get into with too many people. For the record, it's not about taste. I acknowledge that it is possible (but less technically likely) a tall/thick burger can be evenly cooked and taste great. My issue with them is one of design, construction, and symmetry.
Real burgers need to be large, pleasurable meals (I'm not talking about those goddamned sliders or mini-burgers; when was the last time you ordered a half-pint as your first drink?) and a wide footprint on a burger encourages the eating of it to last longer, while visually implying a satisfying quantity. Width also make them stable against cutting actions, letting you slice in straight lines perpendicular to the plate. If you eat them with your hands, then it's also less likely that bits are going to be squeezed out.
One solution for my rage is to not think about them as "burgers". Or to think of them as "Tall Burgers". Somehow, that makes everything better. It's like "Chicken Luncheon Meat", or "Turkey Bacon". Build an excuse into the name and suddenly all can be forgiven. I'm just very protective over some words and can't stand to see something wrongly labeled. This could be a problem with my brain, because lately I've realized how much I hate some words, because of the way their sounds kinda feel wrong. Like unexpectedly biting into something crunchy when you were expecting smooth ice-cream. It just ruins your day.
"Terrier" is an example of a perfect word. When you look at a terrier and think of how it came to be named that, you know the guy did a fucking first-class job. It absolutely fits.
I'm with you on the wide-not-flat burger. Found any good ones in Singapore? I'm still on the quest for it ...
ReplyDeleteTym:
ReplyDeleteI read your post, and must disagree with most of the commenters' suggestions. Billy Bombers is about the worst place you could go to for a burger, wide or narrow. The last time I had one there, I (wisely) guessed that they wouldn't be using very good beef anyway and ordered mine to be done about Medium. When I say that cutting into the burger resulted in large amounts of thin red liquid flooding through the bottom bun and spreading out all over the plate (touching the fries too), I am not exaggerating.
Carl's Jr do above average fast-food burgers as far as Singaporean standards go, interesting for their variations with guacamole and bacon, etc. But they're not what we're looking for, I'm sure you'll agree.
Botak Jones' burgers are of the tall and thick variety. They are also unimpressive and covered with McPlastic cheese. I'd take a Double/Triple Whopper over them.
I like Brewerkz burgers and think that their size is just about right. I hear the price has gone up and the patties have shrunk recently, though, from someone who gets their meat from the same supplier and so might be better informed than most.
Riverside Point's Wine Garage is supposed to do better burgers than their neighbor (Brewerkz), but they come out smaller. This may be what you're looking for.
I've heard of a place at the Rail Mall, and another on Club Street. Jerry's and Bluey/Bluie's, I think. Not sure which is which. I think they're supposed to be O-K, but as you said, have a tendency to be overpriced/have thin patties/or be overdone.
In conclusion, the proper American burger is hard to find in Singapore.
The burger in the picture looks like it would do nothing else except crumble to pieces and get sauce everywhere (especially if I ate it).
ReplyDeleteBlooie's burgers are a bit 'watered down' if you could possibly get what I mean by that.
The photo was just to illustrate my point! I found it somewhere online.
ReplyDelete